Hot weather spells BBQ

It may be nearing summertime, but the bbqs have been out for some months. Our first, something of house warming, was arranged spontaneously, the Saturday hangover providing the thirst for red meat and cold beer. We weren’t alone.

The Sunday noon kick off attracting plenty of faces from the various lines work places and local hangouts. Made for a great day, the kiwi practice of turning up with ice buckets full of piss and bags brimming with home cooked grub exploited to the max.



Kyle and Tamsyn were first to arrive.
The former bringing with him a number of bottles from his latest batch of excellent, not to mention strong, homebrew. The pilsners and golden lagers certainly doing their bit to put us on a level from where the only place to go is down. Seriously though, the fridges have never been so full – it seemed to be raining beer and wine at 11 Edgerley Avenue!

The sun beating down, the hammocks strung up, the sweet smelling aroma of New Zealand green and a dozen dozens of refreshing beer.
The house in Edgerley really is the perfect party venue. All doors open onto a decking which flanks both sides of the house. The kitchen spills out onto the grass at the back, the dining room, too.

On the down side, such was the turn out and the number of new faces, you rarely got more than a drink with visiting folk. A real bonus though to meet people outside our social circle, people like Lee and Serena, fellow Brits who stuck two fingers up at Blair ten years ago. Of course, where beer and wine is concerned, Josh and Sue seem to head the queue every time.

Such is the geography of Auckland, most people are forced to drive, especially those outside the city’s limited suburban rail network (in truth, it’s an efficient, cheap and reliable service, so are the buses, kiwis just don’t do public transport). That spells ‘designated driver’.

Still, leaves more beer for the rest of us! Not seen the man Kyle quite so bevied in some time, the look of total perplex ion on his face honest testament to a good afternoon’s work. Kyle, why do your eyes go like ‘that’ when you’re pissed?

Outside of Henderson (west Auckland’s chav central) you’d be hard pressed to come up with a fact to support Marit’s colleagues as government workers. The Child, Youth and Family department certainly know how to sink piss and were the last standing when the sun finally went down.

Marit fits right in with the popping corks and clinking glasses. Put the journalist contingent to shame in the boozing stakes, not something I’m proud of either! Can’t really recall too much of the afternoon, except that the party shifted inside at some stage and the ‘reds for a rainy day’ were significantly depleted come kick out time. Monday morning was no fun. First time in a long time breakfast has been a steak and kidney pie – it was followed by a steak and cheese and spicy sausage roll. Reckon the four full wheelie bins we had to drag out this morning are some indication of how the rest were feeling!

Life's a beach!

The motor car is, in most cases, a penis extension for today's Aucklanders. The kiwis are mad for motors, the love affair born out of necessity with public transport almost non-existent. On any given day the city’s roads are saturated with Asian imports and over-priced Europeans. Even Hummers have started making an appearance – some people!

We digress. The roads weren’t too bad when we made the hour long trip north, with Kyle and missus Luise, to Orewa, a decent east coast beach packed with kite and wind surfers.

Stocked up with bubbly and strawberries and found a quiet spot away from all the kids. It’s amazing how quickly you can get pissed when you try, the bubbles combining with the sunshine to good effect! The beach provided ample opportunity to welly the football about, our accuracy worsening with every damn kick! The girls soon transformed from their polite, sociable selves into giggling, rude teenagers. The bubbles putting them both into a bleary eyed slumber within hours. The perfect Sunday afternoon!

So when Lu asks, ‘’want to piss off for the weekend, my friends offered us her bach up in Waipu’’, the reply warrants little thought. ‘’Fuck yeah.’’

Two hour’s drive north, near Whangerei, on the coast, this little hideaway was a treat. Second homes, or getaway baches, are a luxury for many New Zealanders, so we were privileged to be asked. The four of us jumped in the car early and were motoring along the east coast before anyone got a whiff of the sunshine.

Loaded up with food and booze in the tiny town of Waipu and headed for the coastline – it’s stunning. Seemed to be a lot of Scottish influence in the town (town, feckin a, more like a hamlet) with kilt wearing bagpipers and words like ‘’McClouds’’ appearing here, there and everywhere. Oh, we must mention, on the drive up, we passed a museum. Can you believe there’s a museum called ‘’Sheep World’’? That’s what we’ve got to put up with! Sheep World?

Girls being girls had the bubbles out before you could say ‘’champagne?’’ Boys being boys, we opted for a splash of Monteiths. That stuff’s my pick of many good kiwi ales. Both their Pilsner and Golden Lager are special bevies, the Raddler (not a fan) tastes like shandy, is shandy, but comes in at a handsome 5%.
The sea was a quick hedge jump away, which made escaping the sun a piece of cake – not so later on, when the bubbles kicked in! Getting up so early meant we had two whole days to ourselves. It’s a tough job but someone had to do it. The garden provided us with the perfect picnic spot, from where mission: ‘get totally buggered’ was conducted. It was a complete success.

Marit and I were reminded of our beds by the sunlight about 6am, Kyle and Lu suffered a psychedelic setback and were under the duvet by 10pm – probably a good job given their state the next morning!A run into town to grab a few beers – somehow, the night before, during our stumbling we’d come upon a second fridge, laden with gifts, such as Kingfisher, Stella and Corona – to replace homeowners’ stock. We were relieved to find the wine cellar intact, the half dozen we’d brought with us just about doing the job. Sunday went without incident. Except to say that we were all a little unnerved to see a rozzer fall through the hedge, compose himself, then stroll up to us in ‘’interested to know why your here’’ mode. Apparently, Lu had managed to trigger the panic alarm, thus notifying the cops, who subsequently sent a patrol out, who found a sunburned, spaced out foursome wrestling with 2007’s cheekiest hangover.

A run into town to grab a few beers – some

how, the night before, during our stumbling we’d come upon a second fridge, laden with gifts, such as Kingfisher, Stella and Corona – to replace homeowners’ stock. We were relieved to find the wine cellar intact, the half dozen we’d brought with us just about doing the job. Sunday went without incident.

Except to say that we were all a little unnerved to see a rozzer fall through the hedge, compose himself, then stroll up to us in ''interested to know why your here'' mode.

Apparently, Lu had managed to trigger the panic alarm, thus notifying the cops, who subsequently sent a patrol out, who found a sunburned, spaced out foursome wrestling with 2007’s cheekiest hangover.

Lava ain't no jokes

Most Aucklanders are guilty of knowing all about Rangitoto without actually having set foot on the island. The low, conical shape of the volcanic mass is rather out of place sat in the Hauraki Gulf, all the other islands so luscious and green. Mind you, at just 600, or so, years old, it’s a wee pup when compared to its siblings – the lack of soil and vegetation creating the rugged, rocky appearance.

It’s just a short 25 minute ferry ride from downtown, directly across the gulf - the island is visible from just about anywhere in mainland Auckland. The island boasts little more than secluded beaches and a good work out for those stupid enough to try and walk the perimeter in six sweaty hours. The terrain is tough, the black lava heating up quickly in the hot sun.

Packed a bag full of goodies, though, evidentially, not enough frigging water, again. First up was the 260m summit. An easy climb though for some visitors too much like hard work (why bother?) Stunning panoramic views of the entire gulf – Auckland city always looks good from distance – make the climb worthwhile, especially on a clear day. After the summit, we set off in search of some seclusion, something we enjoyed to the max during our six hour hike. Nothing but lava, lava and more lava.

Certain bays made the walk worth the effort, McKenzie, Boulder and Ship Wreck were all treats in their own right, but by the time we’d stumbled upon the latter we’d given up on catching the last ferry and were reluctantly preparing for a night under the stars (there’s literally sweet fa on the island).

Much appreciated slice of good fortune when, with an hour left till last boat departs, we stumbled upon two litres of unopened, cool drinking water, at the start of a decent trail, which leads us all the way back to the pontoon. Shattered – 20 kilometres tip-

toeing across lava is a tad tiring – we toasted our stupidity with an ice cold Heineken as the ferry ploughed its way across a choppy gulf. The hot, soapy bath at the other end never felt so good!

Most Aucklanders are guilty of knowing all about Rangitoto without actually having set foot on the island. The low, conical shape of the volcanic mass is rather out of place sat in the Hauraki Gulf, all the other islands so luscious and green. Mind you, at just 600, or so, years old, it’s a wee pup when compared to its siblings – the lack of soil and vegetation creating the rugged, rocky appearance.

It’s just a short 25 minute ferry ride from downtown, directly across the gulf - the island is visible from just about anywhere in mainland Auckland. The island boasts little more than secluded beaches and a good work out for those stupid enough to try and walk the perimeter in six sweaty hours. The terrain is tough, the black lava heating up quickly in the hot sun. Packed a bag full of goodies, though, evidentially, not enough frigging water, again. First up was the 260m summit. An easy climb though for some visitors too much like hard work (why bother?) Stunning panoramic views of the entire gulf – Auckland city always looks good from distance – make the climb worthwhile, especially on a clear day.

After the summit, we set off in search of some seclusion, something we enjoyed to the max during our six hour hike. Nothing but lava, lava and more lava. Certain bays made the walk worth the effort, McKenzie, Boulder and Ship Wreck were all treats in their own right, but by the time we’d stumbled upon the latter we’d given up on catching the last ferry and were reluctantly preparing for a night under the stars (there’s literally sweet fa on the island). Much appreciated slice of good fortune when, with an hour left till last boat departs, we stumbled upon two litres of unopened, cool drinking water, at the start of a decent trail, which leads us all the way back to the pontoon.

Shattered – 20 kilometres tip-toeing across lava is a tad tiring – we toasted our stupidity with an ice cold Heineken as the ferry ploughed its way across a choppy gulf. The hot, soapy bath at the other end never felt so good!