Singapore

And so there we were. Six months after falling onto an Airbus bound for Mumbai – Dad, Hol, Zo, Simon, Mark and Mark, you know you’re at fault for that “one for the road” – we were down to the last weekend of our trip. How time flies eh. But one thing was for certain, regardless of the states we found ourselves in Tioman, we were going out with a bang – this is Singapore after all!



Ditch the image of a Singapore as boringly sterile – sure its laws are absurd – as far as we’re concerned this city/country ranks highly on our “top ten cities to get pissed in before you die”! Sure it’s expensive, but isn’t everywhere these days?! But this place oozes class, far more so than Amsterdam, Bangkok or London.


The clubs are breathtaking, each with their own theme (we particularly liked “The Clinic”, its chill out lounge decked out like a morgue – stiffs not included). Zouk seemed to epitomise Singapore’s clubbing scene, its post 1am playlist littered with some of Europe’s biggest DJs and rooms boasting everything from hip-hop to techno. Liquid, surely the city’s most progressive club, is a tiny place, but don’t let that put you off – f**k no! Ah, the list is endless, and we haven’t even mentioned the bars!

Despite high bar prices the drinking scene is huge! Given that most Singaporeans aren’t built to wallop down ten jars of Tiger the booze menus boast more pages than a Parisian restaurant. Cocktails, mocktails, beers, shorts, shots....need we go on!? To attempt a pub crawl in Singapore is like signing a suicide note – just don’t do it! Best off staying in one of the countless “districts” and exploring it for what it’s worth. The best bars, we believe, can be found down at Boat Quay and Clarke Quay. Here the night starts early and finishes late, very late! The Pump is worth a good drink (it’s a micro brewery after all) and it’s within staggering distance of The Highlander – never in my life have I seen more whisky, or whiskey, under one roof – magic, pure magic!


Shit, we could go on all day raving about this place. But there’s so much more to tell. I mean if you think the bars and clubs are good wait till you hit the restaurants! Sure this is Asia so there’s a Maccy Ds or Burger King on every other corner (it’s all about real estate with these two as globally all their restaurants are franchised, but enough of the nerdy stuff) but forget fast food – unless you’re in Chinatown or Little India where the quick eats the hawkers serve up are as good as anything in their respective countries – the restaurants is where it happens!

Some would say that Singapore’s mouth watering food scene is its biggest draw card – we prefer pubs – but that’s down to the individual. Yet there’s no denying that this city plays host to a mind-boggling variety of dishes, non light on the wallet and all heavy on the stomach! You only have to pick up one of the numerous “what’s on” guides to realise that any chef who wants to make it big in Asian cuisine is heading for Singapore, their signature dish in tow. So where to eat? F**k knows! It’s all good. African, American, Australian, Brazilian, Chinese, French, Indian, Indonesian, Italian, Japanese, Peranankan, Spanish, Thai, Vietnamese....shit, then there’s the fusions!

Don’t get us wrong though – there’s far more to Singapore than stinking hangovers and shitting triplets! This home to 4.2m isn’t known as the “garden city” for nothing. Greenery punctuates every street corner. Contemporary architecture holds hands with colonial, and in such a perfect way a simple strole is blighted by double takes. Sure, Singapore is a city of shopping malls and high rise splendour. No more so than around the CBD where city banks have taken penis envy to a level only surpassed by KL. Yet British colonialism – Rule Britannia! – lives on. Buildings are magnificently maintained. By night these 200 year old edifices are illuminated with such welcoming subtlety that Sir Christopher Wren would approve.

But Singapore boasts, and might well it do! The biggest this, highest that. Shit, you name it this city can trump it. The “Fountain of Wealth” – world’s biggest. DHL Balloon – world’s highest. They’re even in the midst of building a feress wheel twice the size of London’s! 23,000 taxis roam the city. $10,000 a day is spent on road cleaning. More than $1m was spent on trees lining the spotless expressway, each flown in from Indonesia and hand planted.

The world’s most efficient airport, Changi International (it’s a dream come true to travellers). And, can you believe, no residential building is more than ten years old – a cunning way of keeping the economy ticking over and keeping thousands in work.

So where does all end? In Raffles of course – it’s a Singapore institution. Hard to believe this regal edifice started life as a ten room bungalow. It epitomises colonial luxury ($700 a night and it’s easily worth it when compared to the faceless hotels that blight the vast majority of western cities) with its timber floors, lofty ceilings and countless bars. The place even offers its own dentist, doctor, florist and tailor. Not to mention the fact its spawned countless shopping arcades and sister hotels – all way out of the league of the average tourist. Still, where there’s a will there’s way. It’s worth calling in to crack a few nuts and slurp a “Singapore Sling” – a bargain at $20 a pop. Well, a beer’s $18 a half so you can forget that!