Nanny State

There’s a reason why Singaporeans are so efficient, so meticulous and so fucking straight – it’s coz they live in a nanny state!

Since its foundation in 1954, Lee Kuan Yew its godfather and long serving Prime Minister, the socialist People’s Action Party has strived to industrialise – westernise is more befitting – an island severely lacking in natural resources. More than half a century on the same party continues to live out a kind of socially engineered dream – British textbooks on social ideology are to blame, apparently – through strict rules and regulations that seemingly strip Singaporeans of all independence and identity. Hence its reputation, and rightly so in our opinion, as a nanny state!

Sure it’s a safe country with negligible crime, but who’d want to fall foul of the law when such harsh punishments are dealt out. Is it any wonder – no! – why the place is so clean? Smoking in a public place carries a penalty of $500. Get caught littering and you should expect to be hit with a $1000 fine (now we know where the anal British council’s get it from). Christ, you can’t even buy a pack of chewing gum – it’s outlawed!
And the list goes on. Decide to partake in a spot of jaywalking and you’ll be clobbered, on the spot, with a $200 fine. There’s no point in cycling to work, most of the thoroughfares are bicycle free and to break the law is to break the bank - $500. Only the stupid, or perhaps suicidal, should consider smoking a joint with the possession of any drugs resulting in instant death – the gallows would you believe!

Yet, for us anyway, the most outrageous of rules is the one that prevents Singaporeans from snacking on that well loved Asian fruit Durian. For to expose others, while travelling on the city’s metro, to this weird smelling fruit carries a bank busting fine of $2000! Whoever said fruit was good for you?