Chitwan National Park

Behind trekking in the Himalaya and exploring Kathmandu Valley, Chitwan Wildlife Reserve is viewed as Nepal's third most popular attraction. It's no wonder why! It's stunningly located. 932 square km of wetland, forest, roaming plains and grassland. And with some beautiful wildlife it feels like a small piece of the Serengeti has been sneaked into the south of Nepal.

Chitwan became Nepal's first, and most reputed, national park in 1973 when the then king tried to put an end to reckless game hunting. Since the early 19th century toffs from all over had descended on the reserve to shoot off buckshot. Christ, in 1911 King George V and son Eddy VIII managed to slaughter 39 tigers and 18 rhinos in one blood-soaked safari! Colonials eh!

Pronounced a UNESCO site in 1984, and under the watchful gaze of Nepal's sometimes stable government, Chitwan has begun a new life and is beginning to flourish. To start with it's home to some 370 One-Horned Rhinos - the only home. One highlight of the trip was towering over a son and father - aboard a 5 ton elephant - as they took a cool mud bath in the shade. And the sight of a mother and daughter grazing was so moving, for an instant we managed to forget how numb our bums were.

Our time in the reserve was limited, but hell did we pack a lot in! Even managed to find time to slurp a few icy cold beers, which gave us the necessary lift needed to join performing Tharu villagers on stage! These folk, who until the 50s were the only bunch living in the park, impress not so much with their wailing and stick-whacking dance routines as with their natural ability to resist Malaria. Lucky barstewards!

Still, they were good enough to paddle us down the Rapti River the next morning. A serene sunrise ride which, regrettably, came to a premature end a few kilometres later. No sooner had we leaped from the upturned tree - it had started to sink, surprisingly fast - than our guide, kitted out Bush Gardens style, was barking instructions. Now I know it was early, but not so early as to miss important words like: crocodile, tiger, or death. Right! Obviously not.

During our sweaty, mosquito-ridden hike through the tall grasses and wetland we came rather to close to the aforementioned. Maybe it's part of the package?! But given only 107 lean, mean killing machine Royal Bengal Tigers reside in 932 square km what do you think the chances are of catching the purrs of one as it's passed between the group?! Too slim for it to happen. And it didn't. But we did see the arse of one as it leaped into the bushes!

Must've been our lucky morning. We also sat and watched crocs sunbathe on the river bank, not to mention stand super still when a rhino clocked us and bolted into the trees. But none of the above can compare to bathing with an elephant. Even when the water runs dry and the cheeky big bar steward squirts you with snot it's fun! Not sure what was funnier. The sight of Marit being hurled off the giant's back into the river or the sound of a 5 ton elephant's fart! The former I think.

The trip was completed in style with a trip to the elephant breeding centre. Probably a little discomforting to learn it only takes 20 days to train a calf - aged three onwards - as the methods must be tough. But these amazing animals don't look broken and seem to fair well. Feeding a six-month old cookies - specially made cookies for all you animal rights activists - was another incident where they certainly brought out the child in us!