Life's a beach!

The motor car is, in most cases, a penis extension for today's Aucklanders. The kiwis are mad for motors, the love affair born out of necessity with public transport almost non-existent. On any given day the city’s roads are saturated with Asian imports and over-priced Europeans. Even Hummers have started making an appearance – some people!

We digress. The roads weren’t too bad when we made the hour long trip north, with Kyle and missus Luise, to Orewa, a decent east coast beach packed with kite and wind surfers.

Stocked up with bubbly and strawberries and found a quiet spot away from all the kids. It’s amazing how quickly you can get pissed when you try, the bubbles combining with the sunshine to good effect! The beach provided ample opportunity to welly the football about, our accuracy worsening with every damn kick! The girls soon transformed from their polite, sociable selves into giggling, rude teenagers. The bubbles putting them both into a bleary eyed slumber within hours. The perfect Sunday afternoon!

So when Lu asks, ‘’want to piss off for the weekend, my friends offered us her bach up in Waipu’’, the reply warrants little thought. ‘’Fuck yeah.’’

Two hour’s drive north, near Whangerei, on the coast, this little hideaway was a treat. Second homes, or getaway baches, are a luxury for many New Zealanders, so we were privileged to be asked. The four of us jumped in the car early and were motoring along the east coast before anyone got a whiff of the sunshine.

Loaded up with food and booze in the tiny town of Waipu and headed for the coastline – it’s stunning. Seemed to be a lot of Scottish influence in the town (town, feckin a, more like a hamlet) with kilt wearing bagpipers and words like ‘’McClouds’’ appearing here, there and everywhere. Oh, we must mention, on the drive up, we passed a museum. Can you believe there’s a museum called ‘’Sheep World’’? That’s what we’ve got to put up with! Sheep World?

Girls being girls had the bubbles out before you could say ‘’champagne?’’ Boys being boys, we opted for a splash of Monteiths. That stuff’s my pick of many good kiwi ales. Both their Pilsner and Golden Lager are special bevies, the Raddler (not a fan) tastes like shandy, is shandy, but comes in at a handsome 5%.
The sea was a quick hedge jump away, which made escaping the sun a piece of cake – not so later on, when the bubbles kicked in! Getting up so early meant we had two whole days to ourselves. It’s a tough job but someone had to do it. The garden provided us with the perfect picnic spot, from where mission: ‘get totally buggered’ was conducted. It was a complete success.

Marit and I were reminded of our beds by the sunlight about 6am, Kyle and Lu suffered a psychedelic setback and were under the duvet by 10pm – probably a good job given their state the next morning!A run into town to grab a few beers – somehow, the night before, during our stumbling we’d come upon a second fridge, laden with gifts, such as Kingfisher, Stella and Corona – to replace homeowners’ stock. We were relieved to find the wine cellar intact, the half dozen we’d brought with us just about doing the job. Sunday went without incident. Except to say that we were all a little unnerved to see a rozzer fall through the hedge, compose himself, then stroll up to us in ‘’interested to know why your here’’ mode. Apparently, Lu had managed to trigger the panic alarm, thus notifying the cops, who subsequently sent a patrol out, who found a sunburned, spaced out foursome wrestling with 2007’s cheekiest hangover.

A run into town to grab a few beers – some

how, the night before, during our stumbling we’d come upon a second fridge, laden with gifts, such as Kingfisher, Stella and Corona – to replace homeowners’ stock. We were relieved to find the wine cellar intact, the half dozen we’d brought with us just about doing the job. Sunday went without incident.

Except to say that we were all a little unnerved to see a rozzer fall through the hedge, compose himself, then stroll up to us in ''interested to know why your here'' mode.

Apparently, Lu had managed to trigger the panic alarm, thus notifying the cops, who subsequently sent a patrol out, who found a sunburned, spaced out foursome wrestling with 2007’s cheekiest hangover.