Malaysia's top tourist destination, Taman Negara:

Taman Negara jungle spans more than 4300 sq km across the states of Pahang, Kelantan and Terenganu and is viewed by many as Peninsula Malaysia's top tourist destination. Unfortunately there are times when you have to be honest and admit that places really don't live up to their billing (Melaka was still fresh in the mind!). This jungle proved to be anothern prime example.

Knew the trip north to this 130 million year old expanse of wilderness (accounts on age are conflicting with some suggesting it's actually more than 150m) would be a toughie - and so it proved. A 5am taxi swept us from the steps of our Melaka hostel and dropped us smack bang in the heart of KL well ahead of morning rush hour. There we boarded a bus, for a four hour run to Jerantut, that seemed to house more Dutchies than the country itself. A three hour boat ride - another upturned tree - up the Temberling river proved to be the day's highlight. But even then the luxury of life-jackets posing as cushions couldn't resucitate our numb cheeks!

Now this place is not wide open savanna as in African game parks, nor has it the diversity of jungle in Borneo. Indeed the jungle is so bloody thick a ten foot tall beast could pass right before you and yet you'd never know!

That aside this environment remains as it always has done, untouched by ice ages, one of the world's most pristine primary rainforests. On the promise of catching many exotic and rare animals in their habitats we signed up for a late night jeep safari. Regrettably the only thing we saw during two hours of bone crunching in the back of a three cyclinder skip were a few cows, a monkey and a spider. Oh, and there was a snow leopard too - so we were told!

The four of us holed up in the village of Kuala Tahan, a 20 second punt across the river from the jungle, Marit and I grateful that we'd been talked out of plumbing for a bog standard hut by Ina. A/C really is necessary such is the humidity and intensity of mosquitoes - this is of course their domain! Little to do at night except stroll down to the riverbank for a plate of locally cooked rice and swig back a few cans of beer - redeemed from the only resort in the immediate area for astronomical rates.

There were highlights of course such as the canopy walkway (the only activity other than eating we managed as a group) a system of ladders and wooden planks suspended 25m above the ground between century old trees. Daring each other to "go first" we eased our way around the jungle's ceiling before the swaying and creaking proved too much.

While the Robens opted for a cool down period Kris, his normal defiant self, stuck two fingers up at the humidity and, rather stupidly, opted to climb up to Bukit Indah in search of the stunning panoramic views it casts over the entire jungle. Tough but rewarding.

Such is the intensity and density of the environment it is easy to get lost. While trekking one trail we were besieged by 20m high vines and took to swinging through the undergrowth as if auditioning for a part in the next Tarzan film. Our fun, however, was cut short upon noticing that our legs were alive with leeches.

Much screaming and shouting ensued as we first tried to burn, then opted to pull, the buggers off our bleeding skin. No sooner had one been removed than another, bigger blood sucking bastard was working its way inside our boots. Needless to say paranoia set in and our pants were soon round our ankles as we embarked on the necessary crotch checks!


Bedbugs were the last straw - this was after all supposed to be a relaxing two final weeks. The four of us agreed unanimously to cut short our stay to allow for an extra day on Tioman, an idylic island - 50km off the south east coast - in the South China Sea.

This, however, meant an overnight stop in Kuantan which we soon came to realise, as soon as we'd clocked the Negeri state mosque, wasn't going to be the best place for an overnighter!

After hours of aimless walking - it was India all over with everyone pointing us in different directions - the four of us resigned ourselves to soft drinks and yet more rice as we joined a party of "ninja turtles" for their sunset slap up