Mysore

Mysore, though a beautiful city and home to India's booming sandlewood industry wil be best remembered for my first real hissy fit! After three weeks of intense travelling, and a three hour bus ride from Bangalore, we pitched up in this delightful place for several days of recouperation only to be met by hoards of useless Indians! I'm not embarrassed to say that after three weeks of constant questioning ("rickshaw? school pen? 10 rupees. hashish?") I finally blew my top and laid into one unsuspecting local. All I wanted was to stop, light a ciggy and keep walking. But no. This preverbial pain in the arse had to stop me in my tracks by waving a lighter in my face. He then seized the guidebook and, in his best English - which was Hindi with a slant - tried to direct us to some place neither of us knew where! After ripping strips of the idiot and forcing him to turn and run, we headed straight for a bar so I could gather my thoughts over a chilled beer. And for a few moments I really had had enough of this place. The lack or personal space, courtesy and manners. The need for people to make unnecessary noise. The smells. The sight of men pissing and shitting everywhere you turn. The constant haggling and bartering. And the head-bobble. Oh the head-bobbling! Word of warning. Never ask an Indian an open-ended question. Before you know it you'll be some place that doesn't appear on the map being courted by saris salesmen desparate for your dollars. You see the head-bobble is the south Indian way of communicating but for us westerners it just serves to baffle and frustrate! The neck muscles allow the head to move upwards and downwards and from side to side making for an infuriating retort to any manner of question. Why can't the silly sods just say "yes" or "no" instead of bobbling about like a heap of gelo!? As for Mysore, well great place. The state of Karnataka's second largest city is dominated by the stunning Maharajah's Palace, one of the largest palaces in the country. For the record, the original - built of wood - was burnt down in 1897 and rebuilt for the twenty fourth Wodeyar Raja in 1912. Designed in Indo-Saracenic style by the well-known British architect, Henry Irwin, the palace is a treasure house of exquisite carvings and works of art from all over the world.

Nearby, and a muscle-aching climb up a flight of 1000 steps, is the summit of Mysore's famous hills and home to the Chamundeswari temple. Boasting large silver gates and golden idols, the temple is considered hugely religious - the goddesses blessing is said to help devotees fulfill their daily needs - and thousands of pilgrims climb the steps daily in search of improved karmas.